When I first got into the SEALs, there were a lot of senior officers and enlisted leaders who tried to change me into a more vocal and “in your face” type of leader because they didn’t like my more reserved, stoic way of doing business. They were always quick to point out that SEALs and what they did was special, and that leading these super warriors required officers who were louder and more gung ho than the norm.
This “professional development” advice always surprised me, because I had never failed to get the job done in any of my SEAL leadership billets….these folks just felt that I needed to be more vocal. It was because of this type of poor “my way of the highway” leadership advice that turned me against asking anyone to be my mentor (or “sea daddy”), because I felt these seasoned leaders didn’t want to take the time to understand that my style was more comfortable and effective for me than it may have been for them or my fellow junior officer contemporaries. But, to appease leadership (and keep my performance rankings high), I tried to become that more vocal leader, an officer more “out there.” What I quickly realized was that this style wasn’t me, and that the only thing I was becoming was a more ineffective ruler, and not a more effective leader. I also found myself becoming more of a bad person, my growing hubris consistently compromising my core values and blocking my ability to use my leadership power to its’ fullest (and best) extent, just so that I could be louder.
So, much to the dismay of my senior officers, I reverted back to the leadership style that best worked for me. Did I take heat for it? Absolutely!! But what I learned is that to be the best leader I could be, I needed to be true to myself, and not listen to those who were trying to change me into someone that I wasn’t comfortable being.
Coach’s tip(s) for this month: Be true to yourself as a leader, and fight the urge towards becoming a supervisor someone else thinks you should be! It will require some intestinal fortitude on your part, but in the end, seniors and followers will respect you more for standing your ground!
